An objection I often receive when inviting a friend or contact to a BforB business networking group in Hull and East Yorkshire, is this: "I've done networking before and it doesn't matter what ay you dress it up tall networking is the same. The fact is there are all sorts of networking formats, from SPEED to informal to going down the pub and getting hammered to my particular brand which is referral networking.
However that having been said there are generic skills that enhance your daily dealings with people, be it at the newsagents or at a formal black tie dinner or on line social networking. I came accross a really neat item by James Clear today called 24 Networking Tips that actually work..... here they are:

The real goal of networking
Setting expectations
How to reach out to someone new
Address those concerns from the start by saying something like, “Hi. I have one item that I’d like to briefly discuss with you. It should only take two minutes. Do you have time now?” Asking questions like this not only shows that you respect their time, it also gives you the option of speaking with them later if they are too busy now.
I was recently talking to the director of an organization about offering a new course to his clients. I started by asking for permission to continue. “I’ve run successful courses on X before. Would you like to know more?”
He was interested and we ended up having a great conversation.
An additional benefit of this strategy is that you are getting the other party to say, “Yes,” to you. As a general rule, if you can get someone say yes to you three times, then the odds of your offer being accepted by them drastically increase. You don’t need to ask permission for everything, but if you’re opening a conversation where you will need to make an offer, then it can work wonders.
How to build the relationship
Making networking a habit
Things to remember

1. The goal of networking should be to help other people. Yes, it would be nice if they helped you out as well, but networking is a two–way street. And your side of the street is all about helping others, not asking them to help you. Asking for favors should only become a possibility once you have learned more about the person and provided some value to them.

2. It’s far more important to understand their needs before you tell them about your needs. Your goals should not be on the forefront of your mind. You’re trying to develop a relationship with someone, which means you should be thinking about them. It’s your job to understand the people in your network, where they are coming from, and what’s important to them.

3. You don’t need to know the most people, just the right people.There is no need to shotgun your business cards across the industry or to pepper everyone with emails. Instead, focus on finding people that are relevant to you. As time goes on, you can decide if the interests that you share with someone are worth pursuing further. It’s better to have 5 people willing to help you out than it is to have 500 that simply know your name.

4. Don’t expect anything. The fact that you reached out and made contact with someone does not put them in your debt. No one is required to “pay you back.” Instead of approaching networking with the goal of gaining favors, try reaching out with curiosity. Contact interesting and relevant people and see what happens. Some of them will respond and some of the won’t. Learn about the people that follow up. Find out what makes them interesting and how you can help them — and don’t expect anything in return.

5. Don’t leave networking to chance. Take some time and define what you are looking for in your network. Every once and awhile you’ll stumble across someone amazing on accident, but it’s a lot easier to find who you’re looking for if you know who they are in the first place. Be proactive and create a list of people that you want to contact on purpose.

6. Go beyond your industry. Connect with people on a variety of levels from a wide range of areas. By growing your network outside of the usual areas you will be more valuable to people that are in your immediate industry. The people you work with have personalities and multiple interests, right? With a broad network you can be the person that connects people across industries.

7. Don’t dismiss anyone as irrelevant. Maybe you don’t think a local blogger would be a good contact because you work at a medical practice. However, when you open a new branch and you want to let people know about it, you’ll be glad you reached out to someone with an audience.

8. Quantify how much time you’re going to take. People are busy and when someone new starts talking to them, the first thing that comes to their mind is “How long is this person going to talk to me?” or “How much time is this going to take?”

9. Start by offering praise, not requesting help. Unless you have a mutual contact that is putting you in touch for a specific reason, it’s best to avoid asking for anything when you meet for the first time. Don’t ask for favors, for promotion, for advice, or even to meet up for lunch or coffee. Simply start by offering a short compliment. After they respond to this initial contact, you can begin moving things towards a more lengthy meeting.

10. Keep your emails short. If your first contact is via email, then split the message into smaller segments. Instead of reaching out to someone new with a long-winded, five paragraph explanation of why you are contacting them, use that first email to focus on a small bit of praise. You can send further details to them after they reply. Keep that first message friendly and short.

11. If you must ask for a favor, then ask for permission to continue. There are some situations where you need to ask for something, but don’t have the luxury of time to get to know them. Most situations don’t fall under this category, but if you must ask for something, then weave in requests for permission before you make an offer. I’ll give a real example.

12. Try to provide as much value as you possibly can. The more value you create, the more it will come back to you many times over. Focus all of your networking efforts on helping the people you contact.

13. Start by focusing on being friendly and helpful. This is the number one tactic you can use to build your network. Simply spread information in a friendly and helpful way. Did you read a book that someone in your network will enjoy? Tell them about it or send them a copy. Are you using something that would help a friend with a project they are working on? Email it to them. Hear a new music album that a someone might enjoy? Send it their way. Building your network is the same as building friends. Be interested in what they are doing and offer friendly suggestions when you can.

14. Develop the habit of introducing people. Connecting like-minded people is a powerful to enhance your network. The idea of doing this seems foreign to many people, but it is actually quite easy. Do you know two people who enjoy reading the same type of books? Or like the same sports teams? Or love reading about history? Or work in the same industry? You get the point. Don’t make it hard, just introduce the two of them by sharing their common interest. They can decide if they want to pursue the relationship further.

15. Ask if people want to be connected. If you’re apprehensive about connecting two people, then ask one of them if they want to be connected. “I know another person that’s doing Y. Would you like for me to introduce you sometime?” Even if they aren’t interested, they will appreciate the offer.

16. Nurture your current network. Most people think of networking as reaching out to new people, but don’t forget about the network that you already have. (Hint: You probably call them your friends and co-workers.) There is no need to wait to meet new people to start connecting others or sharing useful information. Network within the groups that are already close by.

17. Try to contact one person per day. If you reach out to 5 new people every week, that would be about 250 per year. Sending an email or making a quick call will only take about 5 minutes of your day. Not everyone is going to get back to you, but if you contact that many new people, then you’re bound to make significant progress.

18. Don’t take “No,” personally. Everyone is busy. For most people, it’s simply a matter of timing. If you catch them on a good day, then they will happily talk or meet with you. If they’re swamped, however, then a simple “No” might be all that you get. Don’t take it to heart. In most cases, it’s not a reflection of you or what you said.

19. Make it a point to follow up. One or two days after meeting someone for the first time, follow up with a brief email or note. This is an opportunity to develop the relationship by bringing up a topic that you discussed before or making a comment on an interesting topic. Following up with relevant conversation helps to anchor your previous interaction in their mind and displays more personality than just sending a message that says, “Thanks for talking!”

20. Did you fail? Try reaching out in a different way. You don’t want to pester anyone, but if you give them a few weeks and don’t hear a response, then there is nothing wrong with being persistent. For example, dropping in to talk face to face has resulted in great conversations with people that previously ignored my emails. Sometimes switching it up is all you need to do.

21. Network with the intention of helping other people, not yourself. People enjoy doing business with those that they trust and like. The only way to build that trust is to engage with others in a helpful way. Yes, trust takes a long time to build, but insincerity takes even longer to overcome. Once you’ve developed a relationship and created a bond, then you can move on to negotiating for favors and asking for help.

22. Networking is more about listening to what people say than saying the right things. Take the time to listen to people’s stories. You can only provide something of value to them if you listen to who they are and what they do.

23. Sometimes the best networking opportunities involve real work. Volunteer for events, committees, or projects that will have interesting people at them — or better — working for them. Working on a project or task with someone is one of the best ways to develop a relationship. For example, volunteering for a non–profit can be a great way to get to know their influential board members.

24. Email is easy to send … and ignore. Yes, email is quick, simple, and can be sent to anyone, anywhere. It’s also very easy to be filtered out and ignored. If you really want to meet someone, then don’t be afraid to pick up the phone, propose a video chat, or arrange a face-to-face meeting. These communication channels are usually less crowded and more personal, which means that your message will be more memorable. Email can be a great tool, but don’t be afraid to mix it up.

For many people attending  a networking meeting is something that strikes terror in their hearts. I am frequently surprised just how many people have attended Business for Breakfast Business Networking meetings  in Hull and in the East Yorkshire who have expressed relief and surprise that they have found the event to be pleasant, stimulating and non-threatening. When I speak to people about the misapprehensions that they have had before attending a meeting I have asked them about their previous experiences. What comes through loud and clear is that the first networking events that they have attended have usually been advertised as "relaxed",  "informal" or events where people meet "for a chat". Sometimes these events have been touted as "unstuffy" with the clear implication any business networking group that meets with an agenda and a structure to its business is in some way stuck up, elititist or even pretentious.

Quite frequently people end up disappointed by such events becuase they believe that "informality", "unstuffiness" and "just dropping in for a chat" will mean that they will not be isolated or in any way feel excluded. The reality is that informal networking events often end up having the opposite outcome to what they intended. It's certainly not the fault of the people organising the meetings. They can claim with some justification that their events are successful. So what's the problem?

The reality of any group is that it always organises itself, the dynamics that drive the relationships between individuals and groups are often complex. Groups always establish a kind of pecking order and people end up playing roles within a group whether they are aware of it or not. Dominant personalities gradually take centre stage and their priorities and agenda will take centre stage with them. Ever been to a social gathering where you have felt a bit of an outsider? Ever wondered what everyone was laughing about when someone made a quick oneline crack with a nudge and wink in the direction of one person at the gathering? Ever noticed how people make less eye contact with you than they do with others? That, like it or not is group organisation at work. Language, humour, culture is organised by the group. Watch any informal gathering closley and you can see who leads, who supports, who follows and who does not quite belong yet.

What guests at our referral networking events appreciate, is that the formality of the agenda and the fact that we follow it assiduously week in week out is what ensures that everyone has equal status and an equal amount of time to express themselves. Between formal sections of the meeting our host and guest hosts ensure that everyone understands what is happening in the next part of the meeting. No one is able to be left out beacuse the BforB referral agenda is designed to include everyone.

There is another reason why referral marketing groups such as BforB work effectively for their members. By requiring a minimum level of attendance, by setting an expectation that members will actively participate at the contribution section of each meeting Business For Breakfast Hull and East Yorkshire ensures that people attend our breakfast networking clubs with a commitment to growing their business, growing the group and growing the businesses of their colleagues. It's far easier to drift aimlessly from group to group if none of those groups places any responsibility on you to contribute, to share your time with others and exercise a little self discipline in allowing others to have their moment in the spotlight, talking to your trusted contacts.

If you want to work with  a group of people with a shared commitment to growing their business and yours then click on the link to get Business Networking In Hull and East yorkshire now.

Click here to book your free networking meeting

Today I want to write about my new pal. His name is Yellow and I've never met him. So what do I know about Yellow? Well for starters he has a webdesign and SEO consultancy business and on his website there is a great free diagnostic tool for you to measure your google rankings. Yellow is committed to others as evidenced by his commitment to the poor and starving in Africa. He is polite and considerate and always is a mine of useful information which he shares with is many friends. In fact Yellow has the great virtue of saying very little about himself and his accomplishments but is quick to recognise and praise the accomplishments of others. He is a close colleague of my friend Stuart Walton and is an active member of BforB in Staffordshire.

So what don't I know? Well I think he's a bloke but am not too sure, I have no idea about his personal life. You see Yellow is one of my quality social networking friends. I've got lots and lots abut only a certain number of them are quality friends. We became connected though our mutual twitter friends and  now here we are, talking on a daily basis. Since launching BforB Business networking groups in East Yorkshire a year ago social media has become an ever increasing part of my business strategy. I don't buy data bases for mailing and cold calling purposes any more, I continue to meet people and tonight will be off to another networking event to get to cement some well established friendships. But Soical media Twitter and LinkedIN in particlular have become the corner stones of building my database, drip feed marketing and developing relationships.

I hate cold calling and I hate the expense of paying others to do it. I hate sending snail mail and only sometimes send marketing emails. I'm in the networking business beacuse it suits my temperament and the way in which I like to work with people. I love social media becuase used properly it cretes areferral network that works alongside my person to person contacts. Social media and being part of a business networking group are two complimentary ways to devlop your brand and develop Know Like and Trust relationships.

How then do you apply good Person to person networking skills to the Twitterverse? Well Yellow has pretty much shown me the way and I think that the parallels and can be summarised thus:

1. When face to face networking use your eras  and mouth inapparopraite proportions, Listen twice as much as you speak.

In the Twitterverse make sure that abou 70% of your tweets are based on sharing information. Roughly half should be retweeting useful information given by those you follow and the other half on disemminating information you find yourself.  The other 30% can be direct marketing, but no more, people who simply plug their wares  but do not mention retweet or share info tend to lose their appeal.

2. In the real world make sure you take the time and trouble to ifnd out as much as you can about your colleagues' intersts and business

In the Twitterverse check out new friends' websites look at their links, and send a brief message showing you have done so.

3. In the real world take the time and trouble to reply promptly to emails, follow up when you have exchanged business cards  and leave the door open for a one to one meeting

In the Twitterverse thank people for following, thank them for mentions and let them know that you have found a tweet of theirs interesting by retweeting and mentioning them.

4.  Well what do you think? These are just my ideas but I'm always up for more suggestions so if you want to contribute then post a comment. Social media is evolving at such a rate that no one can credibly claim to know it all. I'd bet the mortgage on who will be first to add a constructive idea. Whilst you are her check out my mate's website.

Membership of a business networking group or a referral networking group may for some seem to be an end in itself. You turn up to a weekly, monthly or fortnightly meeting possibly pass on a lead or a referral and then go on your way. At Hull's Business for breakfast networking group the intention is that members see BforB not as the be all and end all of our networking but as a springboard for further professional networking activities. Word of mouth and referral business does not just drop into your lap. Neither are your competitors likely to limit their networking activities to one regular early morning breakfast meeting. The best networkers will be people who have a plan of action as well designed as a professional marketing plan or an e-mail or a telemarketing campaign.

So outside of your regular business networking group activities waht else can you do? Here are four brief pointers.

1. Use LinkedIn and actively search people to link up to. One simple way to do this is to look at people's profiles, its amazing how quickly people respond to having someone look at theier linked In profile, they almost always are flattered, will take a look back at yours and will be quite happy to become a connection if you invite them. You can go to your LinkedIn second connections( ie People who are connected to connections of yours) and ask for colleagies for an introducion.

2. Follow up with an invitation for a drink , visit to the office or a chat over a coffee just to get to know one another. It is always worth taking the time to develop a relationship once established online.

3. Make the focus of your follow up meeting an opportunity to learn about the person you are meeting and learn about their passion an d interest, which should be their business!

4. Offer to introduce them to people who might help them out, if you can pull that off then you become a trusted colleague of two valued colleagues and your referral network is set to grow.

If you want moretips on networking and woyuld like to meet a team of networking colleagues then why not come along to BforB, business networking in East yorkshire.